"2011: One of the Best"

It's unbelievable how time flies so fast. 2011 would be ending soon and 2012 is approaching. But before it happens, I am writing this note to mark 2011 as one of the best years of my life. I'm calling it "one of the best" not because it's one of the happiest but because it changed my life forever.

January of 2011. I did not feel that a new year has come because I was so busy, I was still going to school, from Monday to Sunday. Schoolworks. I didn’t have much time to go to church and of course, that wasn’t fine with me.

February. I enjoyed our Head Nursing Duty wherein we played the roles of our clinical instructor. It made me realize that I really have the desire to teach. It feels so good to share what you know, what you have and learn from other people, too.

I heard some news, some are good, some are not. What are they? Nevermind. Lol

March. My life got busier each day. Graduation is so soon. I prayed to God and told Him that “24 hours” isn’t enough for a day. He didn’t give me more time. Instead, He gave me more strength. God is so amazing. The best part of March? Papa just got home for vacation! :)

April. This is the month of my graduation, the same month when my two uncles, who are so dear to me, died. My family has this undying pain that we have to overcome and it was not easy that every thing happened all of a sudden. It didn’t feel so well to receive my diploma and start the local nursing board review with sad thoughts at the back of my mind. I wasn’t able to keep my eye on the goal at first. But life goes on.

May. And as I said, life must go on so we started the month of May happy. We had an out-of-town trip. The whole family was finding the way to recovery after losing two loved ones. The local nursing board review was ongoing. This time, I became more focused, stronger and more determined to pass the board examination. I had a closer relationship with God. I could feel, He was and is taking care of me all the time.

June. The pressure was getting higher and higher for everyone aspiring to be a nurse, like me. This month, I already established my study habits. (Too late! Haha) I sacrificed waking up so early everyday and sleeping late to pray the rosary. I read books when I have “free time” (The free time I’m talking about is when I’m not in my review class.)

July. They said, you won’t be able to sleep sound the night before the board examination. However, I actually did have a good sleep. I read my notes over and over again the whole day which is not really recommended. And so, July 2 and 3 came. I cried so hard during the first day of my exam, freaking hard! Haha. This was also the month of my birthday, wherein I reached the age of 20. And being 20? It means a lot to me.

August. The month of sleepless nights and “trying-to-be-busy” days! Haha. Honestly, I was not expecting I can pass the NLE but I did! Hard work pays off. And I know, God helped me make it through. He was my only hope.

September. My family, friends, acquaintances and I were still on the process of “OMG-RN-ka-na.” Lol. I was so happy to make them proud. This month, I had undergone trainings. I met new people, new friends, learned new things, and started reading my nursing notes again (which I hated at first! Haha).

October. I couldn’t remember so much about this month. Because I had the same routine, life gets boring. Aw. Looking at the brighter side, because of this boredom, I got time to collect ideas in mind and review all the things I have learned from the past few months.

November. Life gets more boring. Lol. It was already making me spend a lot of time thinking about things I don’t wanna think about. Nevertheless, God, His love and my family make me happy through the miracles I see every day.

December. The busiest December, ever! The month wherein I was doing a lot of things every day. The best December, because we were able to share our blessings to the less fortunate, to the ones in need; because we knew deep inside, we made other people happy even in simple ways. My favorite part? It was the realization that it wasn’t too late for me to finally move on and that I don’t have to wait for New Year to start over. It’s not bad to look back sometimes but I’m done crying over the past. I could clearly see that I am lucky to have God who loves me so much. I have a very great family. I got true friends. What more can I ask for?

And at last, I already had this feeling of contentment and genuine happiness because I know a lot of people care for me.

Look how these big changes happened in just a year.

Though we have lost two loved ones, though we feel bad for the victims of Sendong (I wish they would have their hearts healed soon) and for the difficulties the country is facing, still, thank You Lord for this wonderful year and for giving me lovely angels (family and friends) as I go through this beautiful life. Please let me keep them forever.

GOODbye 2011, you are remarkable. 2012, here we come! :)

Don't you think life is awesome? It is.

I heard a lot of stories from people, their stories are unique, heartwarming and simply amazing. Some had their happily ever after, some found their way on distant places they never included in the list of their beautiful dreams. Some have let go and some are still holding on. As I bring back into my mind the words, phrases and sentences which they told me, I was captivated as if I was reading a novel over and over again, divided in many chapters, detailed and day by day, something new is revealed.

The stories of their lives is too lengthy to be summarized. They had their ups and downs which made them "real" men, it's more than the Theory of Evolution of Man can explain. Changes do happen all the time but it does not take place in just a minute and may be not just because of a single circumstance that may interfere with a man's life.

Life... is indeed a great journey. It seems long when you've got so much to wait for and seems short when you just can't get enough. That's why we were reminded most of the time about "Contentment" as one of the keys to genuine happiness.

Sometimes, you think you already got everything you want but there will come a day in which you're gonna continue your unending search for true happiness, something that won't be that easy. Nevertheless, it all depends on you, on how you see life. Don't you think it's awesome? It is.

Ambition: To be a Nurse

When I was just a little kid, I really wanted to be a doctor, someone who wears eyeglasses, genius-looking, who holds a stethoscope, putting it on the patient's back and chest, someone who administers medicine through a syringe with a needle, of course. I wanted to be someone who commands a nurse to do this, and do that. I always believed that it is an extraordinary profession, and truly it is.

But then, years have passed. Just like every other kid who wished and loved to be a doctor at first, I changed my mind. I was spending my whole summer with my dear family, my cousins who were younger than me. We played every day and night. We enjoyed writing on a small green board, and that was the time when I became a little teacher at the age of 9-10, someone who speaks in front with full confidence and enthusiasm. That was a fantastic role I played every day. I shared everything I learned in school, Shrubs, Molasses, Ferns, Animals with Vertebrae, Vocabulary words, everything about Mathematics, those were my elementary days. I created small books for them, we held a Recognition Day. The memories are all so clear to me. Though I hardly remember what I wrote in those books, 'til now, I know that I had fun doing it for them!

When I turned 11, preparing for my graduation that whole school year, I was a bit confused on what I would write on the yearbook. I planned to write "Ambition: To be a teacher." but then, I had a second thought, "Ambition: To be a doctor."

However, finally, when that day came, our teacher instructed us, then I wrote: "Ambition: To be an accountant."

Oh, no. I was thinking, what was the hell going on inside my head that time? Of course, I love Math, it was my favorite but. . .

I was always undecided. I never knew what I wanted. But who cares? That was just something written. Everyone has the right to change his mind, and so am I.

I was still eleven when I entered high school. I don't know how but during my first year, I thought of taking up nursing in college. I was so simple that I looked at it as simple as "just caring". I lost my guts to pursue Medicine course because everyone said it's difficult and I can't imagine myself getting skinnier and skinnier because of it.

I had a vision of being an engineer, like my father. . .or an architect because I love sketching and designing, or a policewoman maybe for no definite reason.

There came college, a period of my life which I consider as so serious. From then, I saw myself writing, "Ambition: To be a Nurse."

Nobody has convinced me to enter nursing. I just like it without a doubt. I don't care how much money I would earn through it, but I admit, I wanna go around the world so badly and be a polyglot. Nevertheless, it was never my primary reason. I just wanted my life to be as easy as possible. I thought being a nurse is being a "doctor's assistant". But I was very wrong, it was a misjudgment I uttered. I regret the day I had that misconception because being a nurse is so unique and amazing. It's not a joke to be like them.

As they always say, nobody could do the caring that nurses do. Nurses touch lives and hearts, uplift people's dignity, dead or alive. Nurses care with sincerity and with dedication to work, they don't mind if they haven't completed an 8-hour sleep, if they haven't yet eaten their meals. They just wanna care, unconditionally. They wanna make people healthy and happy. Although they can't even cheer up their own selves, they still smile.

I discovered nurses play so many roles, roles which I once dreamed of when I was younger. They collaborate with the doctors to cure and care for the patients. They are teachers because they educate people. They are accountants 'cause they would have to compute for dosage of medicine, intravenous fluid regulation anytime and use their analytical thinking skills. They are engineers and architects because they are good and creative designers. They seem like police(wo)men because they regulate themselves accordingly, setting a good example to everyone.

And I realize, this profession is a calling from The Lord. He just gave me everything I want so that I won't be confused anymore. I am now a full-pledge nurse and I am so proud of it.